Model growth mindset for your children.
This is the first in a series about conative skills, skills which help children in school that aren’t necessarily academic in nature. Conative skills not only help students in school, but adults in life.
You might have heard about a growth mindset through one of those positivity email strings, perhaps told through pictures of kittens hanging on to windowsills. Although that is a light way of broaching the subject, it is fairly accurate. Those with a growth mindset believe they will change the world. Those without believe the world is something that happens to them.
Having a growth mindset in school is important for a child. The student with one is constantly striving for better in all aspects of school in an effort to shape their life. The student without accepts mediocre grades, not being selected for the sports team, and a shallow social life without doing anything to rectify those situations.
Here are some ways to help foster a growth mindset in your child.
Model growth
The first step in teaching children anything is to model the behavior yourself. That includes the growth mindset. If your child consistently sees you trying new things, practicing difficult skills, and acquiring new knowledge, they won’t find it so weird when you or someone else suggest they try it themselves.
Notice the effort, not the result
Children with an underdeveloped growth mindset think they are dumb/slow/uncoordinated and there is nothing they can do about it, so they don’t try. Praising traits might give a temporary self-esteem boost, but won’t help a child grow. Instead, always make a big deal when they are working to better themselves—even if it’s a struggle for them right now.
Ask for stories, not opinions
The most common question at the end of the day is “How was your day?” Not only are you only going to get a one-word response, but you’re also missing an opportunity to talk about growth. Instead, try “What did you learn today?” or “Where did you try really hard today?” The story they will tell you opens up a lot more avenues into sharing your own experiences and helping them work through theirs.
Experimental Time
Set aside a regular time every week to let you and your kids experiment on a project. The only rule is there are no rules. It might be building something, trying something new, or experimenting with a different way of doing something. It might work. It might not. But it gives you an opportunity to model growth.