Threatening isn’t bullying—it’s criminal behavior that is against the law in any situation.
Schools and districts take bullying a lot more seriously now than when we were in class, but unfortunately that doesn’t mean it has gone away. What has happened is there are now some actionable steps that will get results. If you find out your child is being bullied at school, here are the steps you should take.
- Support your child
It takes a lot of courage for them to come to you. Support their feelings about the incident and never suggest they could have done more or they should “toughen up”.
- Get as many details as possible
Reporting a bullying incident requires specifics. Names, dates, times, locations, and what was said/done are all needed. If there were witnesses, get their information as well.
- If a threat was made, contact the police
Threatening isn’t bullying—it’s criminal behavior that is against the law in any situation.
- Research the school’s anti-bullying policy
It might have been bad behavior, but the incident might not fit the definition of bullying.
- Cyberbullying
If the bullying is occurring online, make sure cyberbullying is covered in the school’s policy. It might not be. If not, most states now have legislation regarding online bullying. If that’s the case, the police need to be notified.
- Contact school personnel
Severity and regularity dictate who you talk to. One time, minor offense? The teacher is probably fine. Anything more than that, make an appointment with the principal.
- Relay the information calmly
No matter how angry you might be, you’ll be much more likely to be able to work with the school if you come off as rational.
- Work together to come up with a plan
There should be specific steps that everyone involved need to accomplish after the meeting is concluded. Write these down and confirm after the meeting. Everyone, especially the school personnel, need to be held accountable.
- Follow up
A lot of parents don’t ask for updates from their child. Give it about a week and ask what has happened. Also, if you haven’t heard from the school, now is the time to make sure they are doing their part.
- If bullying continues, move up the chain of command
Most districts have administration-level personnel that are responsible for anti-bullying steps. If yours doesn’t, the superintendent is the next step. Copy the principal on all correspondence.
If the district is ineffective, file charges with the police and the school board.