Unfortunately, more than half of marriages in this country now end in divorce. Dealing with separated parents is something that teachers have gotten used to, but for the parents themselves it might be new territory. Here are some things to keep in mind during these challenging times.
Be clear with the teacher
Some people move forward with a separation with the mindset that it’s no one’s business but theirs. When it comes to the teacher, that’s the wrong approach.
Teachers spend more time with your child than anyone else. They can alert you if there are psychological or work-related side effects occurring with the separation. They also need to know who to contact if they have something to share. Finally, they’d love to avoid any awkwardness at parent conferences or other meetings. So give the teacher all the information you can, including visitation schedules.
Both parents still need to be included
Unless one parent has washed their hands of the entire situation, make it an effort to include both sides in any education-related matters. That can eliminate a lot of miscommunication.
Make sure the teacher knows to send any emails to both parents, to invite both parents to any conferences, awards assemblies, or concerts (sometimes that information is forgotten by the child during visits), and finds a way to get progress reports and grades to both parties. It will help both parents stay engaged.
Divide the responsibilities
Custody arrangements can be a complicated mess. Eventually everyone gets used to the idea of sharing the child, but it can still lead to difficulties when it comes to school-related responsibilities.
Obviously if one parent has the child on a weekday night, they should be responsible for making sure the homework for that night is done. But things that reoccur less frequently, like projects, should be divided—perhaps by subject area, if one parent is better at certain topics than the other is. In addition, who handles fundraisers, PTO responsibilities, and meet ups outside of school? That all needs to be sorted ahead of time.
The classroom is not a battlefield
Finally, the most important point. Divorces are often messy and that’s sad and not productive for anyone. If that’s the case, save the fighting for the attorneys’ offices and the courtroom. The classroom is not the place to continue the fight—metaphorically or literally.
First, the teacher really doesn’t have time for your issues. Second, the classroom has probably turned into a sanctuary for the child during this time and now you’re invading it. Finally, you both have a stake in the continued success of the child. Let the teacher do their job rather than trying to score points by getting your way on petty educational issues.