There was an op-ed in the New York Times last month about “free-range parenting”, the idea that we should return to those times of roaming and finding things to do for yourself.
My daughter came home from school one day this week excited about her upcoming string of ice skating lessons. We had signed her up earlier in the month. She really enjoys skating and wants to get better—rare for a Florida girl.
“I also want to learn guitar… and piano!”
She’s in kindergarten.
Although her mother and I want to keep feeding this brain of hers that constantly wants new knowledge, we’re worried about the common pitfalls of overscheduling her. Will she get stressed out? Will she get tired of an activity in which she shows promise? Will we have spent a lot of money for nothing?
According to the Census Bureau, 57 percent of children 6-17 participate in at least one after-school activity. It didn’t say anything about three.
When the topic of overscheduling their children comes up, many parents have a similar refrain: this is the 21st century. Children cannot roam around the neighborhood like we did. Supervised activities are the replacement for unstructured play.
There was an op-ed in the New York Times last month about “free-range parenting”, the idea that we should return to those times of roaming and finding things to do for yourself. The author and his family had recently moved to Washington, DC from Berlin, where apparently packs of kids still pound the pavement. They were shocked in the fact that their kids couldn’t find any other children to play with in the neighborhood—they were all inside.
He brings up a good point. In 1999, there were only 115 children who were kidnapped by someone other than a family member, the worst nightmare and what these structured schedules are designed to combat. In the same year, nearly 3,000 children died in car accidents as passengers. You’re actually putting your child more at risk by driving them around to all of these activities.
Like most things in life, the answer is balance. If your child truly loves whatever activities they are in, keep facilitating those opportunities. My personal measure would be whether or not the child practices without being told.
An article from Psychology Today listed some other things to keep in mind:
Time for unstructured play – Kids need time to make things up, establish relationships with other children and negotiate how they are going to play together.
Self-awareness – They also need time to think, about themselves, their friends and family, and the world in general. In other words, quiet time.
Family relationships – Too many activities can cut into the time the family spends together (driving from sports to lessons doesn’t count). If you can do the activity together, that’s perfect.