Monthly Archives: September 2014

Reading With Older Children

Reading With Older Children

Help your child become a reader for life.

Most parents think that once a child reaches a certain age, their role in teaching the child how to read ends. This tends to be right around the time where the student is too old for bedtime stories.

First, reading instruction in school never ends, depending on the student’s skills and success. If a student is struggling, they will have reading classes throughout high school. Second, there are plenty of common sense strategies parents can use with older students to help bolster whatever is going on in reading/language arts class.

Read with them without reading with them

It might be awkward to keep reading to a child after a certain age, especially if they can read to themselves. However, it’s never too late to read something with your child. Pick a book that you’ll both enjoy (on their appropriate reading level). The Harry Potter series is probably a good target. Then compare notes as you move through the book.

Not only does this make sure your child is reading outside of school (a big predictor of success), but it also shows them that reading can be a social experience that can help them make connections with other people throughout their life.

Real-world reading

The Common Core and other new standards want students to read more real-world texts rather than literature. Even though newspapers and magazines may be dying, they aren’t dead yet. Get some subscriptions and then take some time to highlight articles that might be of interest to your child and share them together, talking about the major points. Of course, this can also be done with online writing.

Open-ended questions

In both of these strategies, you will probably be the one guiding the discussion. The world of reading is rarely cut-and-dried. Don’t just ask questions about the facts of the story; make sure to ask open-ended questions that encourage discussion. Instead of things like “What did the main character do when he got into town?”, modify the question to “What did you think about what that guy did when he got into town?”

Switch up the roles

Again, you might be the one guiding the discussion at first, but give your child the opportunity to try. Most kids love the opportunity to take control, especially over their parents. Take turns asking questions, summarizing, and making predictions.

Never a punishment

Whatever you do, never make reading a punishment for some childhood transgression, even indirectly. A typical situation might be taking away the student’s access to video games and suggesting that they read instead. Then the child equates reading with punishment and a lack of fun. Let them figure out what to do with their newfound free time. If you’ve done your job, they’ll choose reading without your help.

Conative Skills and How They Help Your Child

Conative Skills and How They Help Your Child

Cultivating a growth mindset.

With so much attention being paid recently to the academic skills that promote college and career readiness, it seems that interpersonal skills are taking a backseat. The truth is that it’s those skills, which we call conative skills, which can have the most effect on whether a person will be successful in life.

Although this isn’t a complete list, here are some of the skills that are considered conative:

  • Ability to read situations
  • Cultivating a growth mindset
  • Resilient
  • Staying positive
  • The ability to take various perspectives on an issue
  • Interacting with other responsibly
  • Conflict resolution

Here are some things to keep in mind when trying to develop these skills at home.

Model them yourself

As always, parents are the best example. That’s particularly true in the conative skills. Although it might not be possible to change some of your behaviors, ask yourself some tough questions. Just how negative are you in front of the kids? Do you respect others’ point of view? How do you handle conflict, not only with them but also with other people? Perhaps there are better ways to set an example for your child.

Reward effort, not success

We are a culture rooted in success. We celebrate those who succeed. But most successful people fail a lot before you see that success. It’s the effort that should be recognized. So instead of only praising your child when they do something well, praise them for the effort itself.

Take grades for example. Obviously good grades are the goal, but falling below your expectations isn’t the end of the world as long as you know they tried hard. If they’re willing to put in the effort, performance can always be improved.

Controversy and conflict

Some people think controversy and conflict are the same thing. That’s incorrect. Controversy means people have different opinions but are willing to see the other side. Conflict, on the other hand, is when someone is actively keeping someone else from accomplishing a goal. Both happen on a daily basis and should be viewed as teachable moments rather than something to be avoided.

As you are well aware, your family will not get along all the time. It’s how those controversies and conflicts are handled that will shape your child’s interpersonal skills when they enter the outside world.

Stay away from narrow thinking (and speaking)

On a related note, your child needs to understand that their way of thinking isn’t the only way, and that other peoples’ opinions are valid and sometimes valuable. No matter your own views, try not to be dogmatic in front of your student. Model the fact that everyone is entitled to their opinion and those opinions should be respected—obviously, within reason.

Maintaining Work/Life Balance as a Teacher

We’re entering some crucial months of the school year. The getting-to-know-you stuff is over and the classroom is not yet sullied by talk of the holidays. Time to cover some real ground in the curriculum! This might lead to extra grading and other “extracurriculars” that might encroach on your home time. Here’s how you get it back.

Maintaining Work/Life Balance as a TeacherFirm boundaries

The first key in any work/life balance situation is establishing firm boundaries for your time.

We’ve all brought work home to grade. It’s a tradition—one that should be as limited as possible. Whatever can be done to bring that workload down, implement it. It might come down to cutting home grading out for good. That’s what planning periods are for!

Also, the evening might be the best time to reach parents by phone but it’s also the best time to annoy your family. Stay on email and look into some texting solutions. They can be ignored at inappropriate times. But never text with your actual phone number or you’ll never get a moment’s peace.

What are your responsibilities?

Teachers tend to be the kind of people who take on many different responsibilities because they want to make a difference. There are the responsibilities of the job, then maybe heading a department, coaching a sport, serving on a committee, or sponsoring a club.

Be really honest with yourself about what you like to do, what you feel is making a difference, and what you felt obligated to pick up. Don’t let anyone bully you into added responsibilities (even administrators). Remember that family and the actual job of teaching your classes come first. If anything else is getting in the way of those two, it’s time to cut bait.

Use that time off!

Some teachers are really, really good at this next point. And others hoard their sick/personal time expecting a catastrophe that might never come. When it comes to events and travel, not everything can be done over the summer.

Save a reasonable amount for an unexpected illness relative to your age and health (for example, if you’re relatively young you don’t need weeks upon weeks for a broken hip) and make an effort to use the rest for something fun for yourself and your family. Sprinkle in some long weekends (or extensions of three-day weekends) to keep yourself fresh and remind yourself that there is a life outside the school’s walls. Your sub pool will thank you.

Keeping Your Child on Track During Family Troubles

Unfortunately, more than half of marriages in this country now end in divorce. Dealing with separated parents is something that teachers have gotten used to, but for the parents themselves it might be new territory. Here are some things to keep in mind during these challenging times.

Keeping Your Child on Track During Family TroublesBe clear with the teacher

Some people move forward with a separation with the mindset that it’s no one’s business but theirs. When it comes to the teacher, that’s the wrong approach.

Teachers spend more time with your child than anyone else. They can alert you if there are psychological or work-related side effects occurring with the separation. They also need to know who to contact if they have something to share. Finally, they’d love to avoid any awkwardness at parent conferences or other meetings. So give the teacher all the information you can, including visitation schedules.

Both parents still need to be included

Unless one parent has washed their hands of the entire situation, make it an effort to include both sides in any education-related matters. That can eliminate a lot of miscommunication.

Make sure the teacher knows to send any emails to both parents, to invite both parents to any conferences, awards assemblies, or concerts (sometimes that information is forgotten by the child during visits), and finds a way to get progress reports and grades to both parties. It will help both parents stay engaged.

Divide the responsibilities

Custody arrangements can be a complicated mess. Eventually everyone gets used to the idea of sharing the child, but it can still lead to difficulties when it comes to school-related responsibilities.

Obviously if one parent has the child on a weekday night, they should be responsible for making sure the homework for that night is done. But things that reoccur less frequently, like projects, should be divided—perhaps by subject area, if one parent is better at certain topics than the other is. In addition, who handles fundraisers, PTO responsibilities, and meet ups outside of school? That all needs to be sorted ahead of time.

The classroom is not a battlefield

Finally, the most important point. Divorces are often messy and that’s sad and not productive for anyone. If that’s the case, save the fighting for the attorneys’ offices and the courtroom. The classroom is not the place to continue the fight—metaphorically or literally.

First, the teacher really doesn’t have time for your issues. Second, the classroom has probably turned into a sanctuary for the child during this time and now you’re invading it. Finally, you both have a stake in the continued success of the child. Let the teacher do their job rather than trying to score points by getting your way on petty educational issues.